I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
