My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It's Friday. Sex?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
