I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
