I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
