hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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