she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
