I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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