On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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