Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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