your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
