you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
