WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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