I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
