Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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