you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
