Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
