even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
