I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
