she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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