I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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