oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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