Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
