I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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