Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
