sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i drank out of a bidet.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
