she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You ruined the universe
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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