You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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