no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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