ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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