I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
