it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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