I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
