# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she woke up with a sticky ear
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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