Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
