This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
