omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
