Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
