Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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