but the lizard people decide everything anyway
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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