Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
