I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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