Your face is a jimmy john
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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