new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
