I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
