Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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