the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
