She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
