She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he shaved USA in his pubs
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
