Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
