youre lurking in front of me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
