Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
