found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Randomize
