Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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