My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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